Happy first Friday of 2019 Storytellers! Today is a super exciting day because not only is it Friday (hallelujah) but it also just so happens to be Fictionally Sam‘s 1 Year Blogoversary! I honestly am shocked that Its been an entire year since this whole oasis has begun. I have made so many amazing friends through this in the book community and have found so many equally amazing blogs along the way. This has become a second home to me and the people I have met along this journey have become like family–so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for the encouragement and the love and support! You guys are a 10/10 would recommend .
Now, with the mushy stuff aside let’s get down to today’s post! I went back and forth between what I wanted to post for my Blogoversary–do the typical thank you post, a tag, etc.– but then I thought “why don’t I bring back Movies and TV?”
Movies and TV have been a huge part of my life for as long as a I can remember, and it was my field of study in University. At the beginning of this blog I wanted to include this part of me and share my thoughts and feelings about the stories I consumed through this medium just as I would with books, however, ya girl here got hella insecure and put them in her abyss known as drafts…and never published them. But, today I thought it would be great to finally step out of my comfort zone and bring back my Cinematography talks and reviews–and what not a better way than with Netflix’s current hit, Bird Box.
Now, let me preface this with I am going into this movie blind. I have no clue what it is about except that the majority of this movie Sandra Bullock and the rest of the cast where blind folds–why? I have no ducking clue. But we are about to find out fam. So sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and let’s see if I die a little inside.
SPOILERS AND LANGUAGE BELOW! DO NOT CONTINUE UNLESS YOU HAVE WATCHED BIRDBOX OR YOU KNOW- LIKE SPOILERS. IDK YOUR LIFE, SO DO YOU.
- oooo So this is happening
- OK so instant twilight vibes with these forestry pans
- Uhhhhh
- So we are suppose to leave this kids?
- what’s the deal voice man?
- Damn, three seconds in and you already yelling at the kids Sandra
- SHE DID NOT JUST CALL THEM BOY AND GIRL
- ooooo Birdies
- Oh man, we out here in these streets
- A boat…so soon?
- What the actual hell is going on?
- I’m lost
- what is this movie even about?
- So Sandra is Bob Ross
- THIS IS A TWILIGHT LIKE SONG
- AKA a bop
- Dang
- What am I even watching?
- “Inability to connect”. Wow what a mood
- OH SHOOT SANDRA WE PREGNANT!?!
- The little bean 😂😂😂
- All of these horse analogies are giving me life
- Annnnndddd we are vomiting
- What in the actual fuck?
- Everybody done lost their mind
- Ah fuck
- HOLY SHIT
- WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF
- This move is really gonna be about how many times Sandra falls down
- So far 5
- ISN’T THAT LUKE CAGE!?
- Wow a time is being had
- Dude boy here with the gun needs to calm tf down
- IS THAT MACHINE GUN KELLY?!
- Wow, Netflix really hard press for actors if we had to use Machine Gun Kelly
- He looks like a twig
- Lol Twig Kelly I agree with you
- “It’s the Endgame man” 😂😂😂
- They all gonna die
- Newly widowed dude is pissing me off
- what even is this guys name
- Wow the sound mixing is a 10
- Ah shit dude boy dead
- Hey it’s Dumplin!
- Sandra hates people and it’s a mood
- LOLOLOLOL
- What a time to squeeze in an end of the world screw
- Oh we back to the present
- Watch one of these kids be that ladies
- This is almost like the visual version of a quiet place
- Why are we wasting ammo Sandra?
- WE JUST CHOPPED THAT DUDES NECK
- YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- Charlie is giving me life
- Aren’t they gonna run over some folk?
- …
- Yup we ran over some folk
- 😂 A speed bump my ass
- GPS be saving lives during the apocalypse
- Luke Cage really trying to get with Sandra
- I need to figure out these names
- Wow Luke Cage is desperate to bone in the laundry room too
- Update: Luke Cage is Tom. A time.
- Birdies!
- Douglas gonna die next
- Bet
- ….
- bet lost
- DAMN NOT CHARLIE
- THE BIRDS KNOW MAN! THE BIRDS KNOW!!
- Asshole’s name is Douglas
- Douglas can choke
- I concur with all his previous wives
- Damn Lydia a saint
- “fluent in Asshole as well” this screenwriter is the best 😂😂😂
- Welp, the youngest ones are the dumbest ones there. RIP to Lucy and Twig Kelly
- Soooo are these kids not hers or she just letting them call her Mallory?
- SANDRA TOLD YOU TO LAY FLAT GIRL!!!
- This is why we can’t have nice things
- Wait
- Brief pause for more popcorn
- ….
- Popcorn achieved
- We may proceed
- I swear the mixing in this is a bop
- Ahhhh shit
- shit
- shit
- Sandra fall count: 12
- Shit
- Shit
- Sandra stay wasting ammo
- This little girl need to get back to the boat
- DOES GIRL DIE?!
- She stupid but she don’t need to die!!!
- ….
- She survived
- But Sandra pissed though
- Sandra making a connection out here in this apocalypse
- Olympia done messed up like A-A-Ron
- Bet you Gary here one of them batshit people
- He knows to much
- For the first time I’m agreeing with douche canoe Douglas
- Let us all take a lesson in the asshole handbook
- They really gonna make this dude stay?
- …
- YO GRANDMA KNOCKED DOUG BOY OUT
- Olympia is getting on my nerves
- Ahhh connection
- oooo
- Row row row your boat
- How we get the same color blanket like before?
- Netflix cheap
- Oh shit
- WE HAVING TWO KIDS?
- ON THE SAME NIGHT?!
- I CALLED IT
- A time is being had folks
- 😂😂😂😂
- Poor Tom
- 😂😂 Gary about to kill someone
- OH SHIT HE DREW THEM
- I BLOODY KNEW IT
- HE PUT TUCAN SAM’S KIDS IN THE FRIDGE
- OMG
- OMG
- THERE GOES DOUGLASSSSSSSSSSSSSS
- OLYMPIA GONNEEEEEE
- THAT BITCH DEAD
- WHAT THE FUCK
- Douglas for the rescue
- Oh shit
- Damn
- I didn’t need him to go down like this
- Wow
- A time
- Sand about to have PTSD for days
- Tom the real MVP
- Saving his woman folk and shit
- Oh shoot we a family now
- Oh hello Tom
- I see we have gotten hella acquainted over the past 5 years
- Dang Tom the real Dad material
- 😂 Girl don’t give a duck what Sandra says
- Damn
- This too much of a character development moment some shit about to pop
- I don’t trust this house
- Nah fam
- No birds no go fam
- Their first strawberry experience and it was in a…poptart. Wow
- AH SHIT WE GOT DRIVING NUTTERS HERE
- HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIVES
- WE JUST WANTED TO EAT THE OVERLY EXPIRED POPTARTS IN PEACE!!!
- Ah shit not TOMMM
- Damn Sandra alone now
- She really gonna pick a kid
- SHE REALLY GONNA PICK GIRL?!?!
- SANDRA
- SANDRAAAAAA
- Wait
- We are getting a montage that is suppose to give us a glimpse of her inner conflict but really is an excuse to give the actors that croaked more screen time–a mood
- Wow Sandra found love in a hopeless place
- Welp they all fucked
- If they all die at the end of this I’m gonna be pissed
- Don’t waste my two hours Sandra
- She really doing these rapids blind
- OH SHIT
- WE IN THE UPSIDE DOWN
- WOW WE MADE IT
- GOD BLESS
- BELLS COMING THROUGH
- BIRDS
- WAIT
- WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BIRDS IN THE BOAT
- YO
- NAH FAM
- THEM BIRDS WERE THEIR FROM THE BEGINNING
- I AM UPSET NOW
- FUCK SANDRA
- WHERE THE BIRDS
- #JUSTICEFORTHEBIRDS2019
- OH SHIT WE GOT VOICES
- SHE DROPPED THE BELL
- AH FUCK
- THESE KIDS TRYING MY PATIENCE
- still mad about the ducking birds
- ….
- THE BIRDS ARE ALIVE! I REPEAT THE BIRDS ARE ALIVE
- Girl has the birds
- Dang
- Sandra really going through some development
- Aye Girl got sense
- Dang Girl and Boy just being thrashed around like a rag doll
- Sanda fall count: 19
- Dang
- OH WOW
- Of course the aliens can’t fuck with the blind
- Out of everyone in this stupid show…the doctor made it?
- FINALLY
- She named them!!!!
- About time honestly Sandra
- So we name the kids and that’s it?
- Wow
- what a ride
- This was great, the audio especially, but uhhhh, not sure sure I see the hype
- Okay the ending credit music is dumb
- SO.
- yeah this was…something
- Not what I was expecting but I ain’t mad either
- I like how Luke Cage/Tom survived for almost the entire movie
- Question though: How were they having sex these past five years and not once did she get knocked up?
- I know they didn’t have birth control on all of these scavenger hunts
- But back to the movie itself
- It was good, but I felt like it didn’t quite…make it.
- Like it was on the brink of greatness and just fell short
- Don’t get me wrong it was good
- Just not mind blown
- Also I got major “A Quiet Place” vibes
- I wonder if they were trying to harp on/ Piggy bank off of that movies success and hype
- Wow
- what a time
Rating: 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿/10
I am crying at work from laughing. This is so accurate.
Yay, congratulations on your blogoversary! And this post is so funny! 🤣
Thank you! <3
OMO!! 🤣 This is hilarious. I just the movie this afternoon and I definitely agree with ya!
😂😂😂😂
oh my GOD this was hilarious and I am so glad this was your triumphant return to move / tv reviews because wow, a time was had. I know nothing about this movie other than it’s a book adaptation apparently and Sandra Bullock wears a blindfold. This was a Time.
😂😂😂😂 that was literally all I knew about the movie too. I came for Sandra and stayed for the birds 😂😂