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Genre: Drama, Horror, Musical| Release: December 21st 2007 | Director / Creator: Tim Burton | Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman
Unjustly sent to prison, a man vows revenge, not only for that cruel punishment, but for the devastating consequences of what happened to his wife and daughter. When he returns to reopen his barber shop, he becomes Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, who “shaved the faces of gentlemen who never thereafter were heard of again.” Sweeney’s amorous accomplice, Mrs. Lovett, creates diabolical meat pies.
SPOILERS AND LANGUAGE BELOW!
DO NOT CONTINUE UNLESS YOU HAVE WATCHED SWEENEY TODD OR YOU KNOW- LIKE SPOILERS.
IDK YOUR LIFE, SO DO YOU.
1. Jamie Campbell bower!!
2. Lmao my tv turned off when Johnny Depp came on—it knows the truth
3. Stephen Sondheim will forever be a bop
4. “In these once familiar streets I feel shadows…everywhere” mmm I FELT THAT
5. THAT BABY AINT NO BABY
6. OMG ALAN RICKMAN
7. Damn Sweeney struggling
8. So how did he become a demon?
9. These lyrics are my new obsession
10. Lmao I was going to write while I watched but now I’m invested
11. HEY ITS WHATS HER FACE FROM HARRY POTTER
12. I’ll remember her name in a minute
13. Like I said that baby ain’t a baby—that’s a grown ass child in a bonnet
14. OH MY GOD DID SHE JUST GET RAPED?!
15. Oh shit the bitch dead
16. Because Todd is soooo much better than barker—wow what an upgrade
17. Still don’t know how he is a demon
18. Like where is Satan?
19. Ugh the lighting contrast from the past and present is 10/10
20. Also really appreciate the work the set designer has done like it tells it’s own story and I’m here for it
21. Harry Potter chick missing an eyebrow?!
22. Todd is getting a scissor hard on
23. Update: she has two eyebrows
24. DID SHE JUST SAY YOU’RE MINE NOW?!
25. This bitch hella coo-coo, like Mariah Carey “Obsessed” level of crazy.
26. Lmao his arm is complete again —what an awkward frame
27. OH MY GOD IS JAMIE GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH TODDS DAUGHTER?!?
28. Let the record show I called it
29. Daughter looks like a porcelain doll your grandma says not to touch but you touch anyway and fuck it up
30. Jamie about to tap the doll
31. Tap it and die Jamie
32. WHY IS HER NOSE SO PERKY
33. lmao that Cinderella run was vocally pleasing
34. We still in act one and I’m ready for the conclusion
35. Every time Jamie says Johanna my head instantly sings Jolene by Dolly Parton
36. Alan Rickman’s pants are hella tight
37. I just want judge Turpin to get fucked up
38. I forgot how long winded Sondheim is
39. YOU GANDERED AT HER
40. This dude wildin
42. “I’ll steal you Johanna” yes…please steal her.
43. TAKE THAT SECOND MOTHERFUCKIN GANDER JAMIE
44. Awkward moment when you realize you gotta spend the rest of the day looking like you just got out of a car accident
45. I can smell the Tim Burton aesthetic from my bed
46. LMAO AINT THAT THE BORAT DUDE?!
47. His hair is hella greasy
48. What is he a bull rider? What is with the cape? Sir, please take several seats.
49. Lmao my tv turned off again—it knows the truth
50. We out here shaving in the streets
51. Todd is taking his time like it ain’t nothing but a Monday
52. This dude about to cut a artery
53. THAT NOTE THOUGH
54. the judge guy looks like a rat
55. ALAN RICKMAN PEEPING
56. Mmmm I don’t stan this
57. Patience is a virtue Todd—gotta wait and then fuck em up slowly
58. BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
59. THATS WHO THE BITCH IS!!!!
60. If she has the worst pies in London—how she still able to pay property taxes? The real questions…
61. Italian dude (Borat) is not Italian and is trying to bully Todd
66. kill em
67. DAMN TODD YOU BAT SHIT CRAZY
68. all for some five pounds
69. Damn damn damn
70. Just damn
71. Todd has seen some shit clearly
72. oh my god Turpin just sentenced a kid to hang
74. A rat with chicken legs
75. OH MY GOD HE IS GOING TO MARRY JOHANNA—the ugly baby!!!!
76. THIS SOME NASTY SHIT
77. CUT HIS THROAT TODD
78. Lmao this is gold
79. This dude and chick are crazy
80. Bellatrix is hella calm about there being a dead body upstairs
81. OH MY GOD SHE ISN’T SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK SHE IS SUGGESTING
82. oh god this is disgusting
83. I’m going to barf
84. She really going to cook these folks
85. This is some stalking Jack the Ripper shit and I just want Thomas Cresswell to waltz in and fuck people up
86. Nope Todd is going to go mad and just kill everyone
87. I feel it
88. THEY ARE SIZING UP PEOPLE TO COOK
89. LIKE THEY ARE COWS
90. I suddenly relate to cows wow
91. I will never look at meat pies the same way again
92. Thousands probably went vegan after watching this film
93. Heavily considering it now folks
94. But I love chicken
95. Mmmm not that much though
96. Trust no one
97. Is he going to sleep with Bellatrix?
98. Nope she wants it too much
99. Lmao they chucking Johanna into the insane asylum for liking the sailor (Jamie)
100. This movie is wild
101. The horny can’t get laid and the demon can’t get the dude—a time
102. Honestly this movie isn’t as much of a bop as the beginning let on
103. Like Todd is wild with revenge on his brain that he is probably going to go on a binger and kill everyone
104. Bellatrix is just determined to have dude boy to herself that she probably is demented
105. The only innocent is Toby
106. Poor Toby
107. 50 more minutes of this Tom foolery
108. We are singing about Johanna / jolene again
109. Demented Bellatrix is making her human oven
110. These folks need Jesus
111. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODD IS GONNA KILL GRANDPA!!!!
112. WHAT DID GRANLPA DO!!!!!
113. RIP gramps. You were the true O.G.
115. Wait–Did I miss something? Why are we getting married?!
117. Oh my god
121. This insane asylum
122. Holy shit
123. Lmao the rat gonna die
124. Todd about to become the human embodiment of raid
125. Oh my god is this homeless lady Todd’s wife????
126. BELLATRIX IS AS NUTTY AS TODD
127. TOOOOBBBYYYYY WHHHEERRREEE AARRREEE YOOUUU
129. Lmao Rickman about to choke
130. Death by razor for wanting his adopted daughter
131. I accept it
132. Welp he is dead
133. OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT
134. HE KILLED HIS WIFE
135. And this is why we don’t go on killing sprees kids
136. We ask questions before slitting throats
137. Now bellatrix gonna get axed
138. She tried though
139. ‘A’ for effort
140. Lmao professing your love aint going to save you now honey.
141. THESE PARALLELS FROM ACT 1 ARE STELLAR
143. REPRISE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS
144. OH MY GOD HE THREW HER IN THE OVEN
148. THE MAN IS A NUT CASE
149. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T HAVE NEW FRIENDS
150. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS
151. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T GO TO BARBERS ANYMORE
152. Or Fleet Street
153. This is wild
154. The last five minutes and my eyes have been bugging
155. But let the record now I predicted most of this shit
156. THE MAKEUP ON THE KID CHANGED
157. THE LIFE IN HIS EYES HAVE LEFT HIM
159. The imagery
160. This is solid
162. The middle was hella boring
163. But that beginning and end?
165. Worth the hour and 56 minutes of my evening
166. A time truly
167. So who gonna clean up that basement now?
168. Like it has a shit ton of dead people in it now
169. 4/5 popcorn buckets
170. That middle is the reason for the deduction, because wow it lagged for me
171. My patrons done did good though
172. They knew.
173. Now to watch something light so my dog will stop whimpering
174. And I can get that meat pie scene out of my head
Have you seen this? If so, what did you think?
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