Dear Romance…An Open Letter to the Romance Genre
First off let me start the letter by saying how much I adore your stories. You are literally a 10/10 would recommend genre, and one that keeps me going throughout the day. If it weren’t for you I’d probably be bored at work half the time. I would also like to preface this with saying that I may or may not be tad bit tipsy–this fact is neither here nor there. But back to what I was going on about–I am indeed in love with you Romance genre, the way you can make a girl swoon and wish she wasn’t single is a power beyond me. I love you…I dream about you… but I have a bone to pick with you.
First off, let’s talk about why almost all your Hero’s are hella buff dudes. What ever happened to lanky Tom and waddle Jerry? They need love too! All I am saying is there is a whole population of thirsty females craving a good lanky dude in their books! Look at Grant Gustin (The Flash) or Tom Holland for instance! These are some super lanky dudes who many a woman (and man) would throw their knickers at and ask them to be their next sperm donor. The lanky dude is untapped potential in my humble and slightly tipsy opinion.
Speaking of untapped potential, where in the world is all the f/f romances?! Now don’t get me wrong, I stan the m/m goodies–I do, they are a 10/10 when written well with good rep. But us females need some loving too. I know there are some f/f romances but hot shit its a small amount. I’d like to be able to not have to break my glasses in a hunt for some good female love and I know there are many other queer folk, like myself, who would love more of this too. Just saying–untapped…potential.
Another grievance–well more like question– I have is why don’t our MC’s grovel when they fuck up? Like I feel like if shit went down and you leaving the other person/don’t want anything to do with them anymore–it’s gonna take more than just a grand gesture, roses, and an apology to get back into these pants. Like I really wish you would make these folks work for it. Yeah, they felt like shit for days on end without the other person and they feel bad and know they screwed up; BUT HUNTY YOU SCREWED UP. Trust was broken. YOU MUST REGAIN THE TRUST. And why in Carmen San Diego do these girls instantly take them back? Like they bring you flowers and apologize and suddenly y’all are all too willing to take them back?!
They wont respect it if they don’t earn it. Sorry not sorry, but one grand gesture and an apology isn’t gonna cut it for me folks. I need to see you work to get back into my life.
Lastly–and this is totally a preference thing– DUDES AND CHICKS WITH GLASSES ARE HOT. PLEASE USE THEM MORE! This is another area of untapped potential Romance Genre! There are whole instagram accounts dedicated to these nerd muffins that I may or may not be following obsessively; and I honestly hate it when you vagina tease me with glasses on the covers and one scene in the book and that’s it. Like folks c’mon. Extra bonus points to those who have them take the glasses off to chew on them. Hot damn, I would buy all your romances if this happened you beautiful genre, you.
At the end of the day though I stan you and your beautiful stories–even if you ignore these gems of tipsy wisdom. You are a Queen and I will forever be trash for you and your love.
Please think about the groveling. Please.