194 Thoughts While Reading: To All The Boys I Loved Before by Jenny Han

I can’t believe I am doing this.

Typically when I DNF something (especially when it is a book I wasn’t vibing with) I tend to never go back to it–solely because I figure: if I didn’t like it before, I’m probably not going to like it later. So far this method has saved me countless hours that could have been wasted on a book that would have killed off some of my brain cells or made me mad in the non good way that books do.

This isn’t the case today.

No, today I am disregarding my rule for a moment and am reading a book I DNF’ed back in 2016. If you haven’t noticed from the Title yet, that book is To All The Boys I Loved Before by Jenny Han. I tried this book before, and got maybe 40 pages in and just couldn’t do it. My best friends swore up and down that this book was great and begged me for months to read it–I tried. Honestly, I gave it my all. But I couldn’t get passed the beginning and thus gave it a one star in my DNF notebook. However, the year has come when this book is being turned into a movie–and like the person I am, I want to watch it. But I have another rule (yeah, I know I’m weird), if the movie is based off a book, I MUST read the book first. This is a rule I strictly enforce in my life because I feel like I gain more if I read it first, because let’s be real– some things can’t be translated from book to movie properly.

So this is me deciding to give Jenny and her letters one last shot before I have my movie party on Premiere day (August 17th). After consulting with many people on Book Twitter, I have been told that if you didn’t like reading the book than try it on audio–so that is what I’m going to do! So feel free to sit back, relax, read through, read with, and see if I don’t die by the end of this.

Okay, lets do this! Also: SPOILERS!!!!! 

Genres: Contemporary
Publisher: Simon Schuster Books for Young Readers
Publication Date: April 15th, 2014
Source: Scribd
Format: Audiobook
Initial Rating:

“What if all the crushes you ever had found out how you felt about them… all at once? 

Sixteen-year-old Lara Jean Song keeps her love letters in a hatbox her mother gave her. They aren’t love letters that anyone else wrote for her; these are ones she’s written. One for every boy she’s ever loved—five in all. When she writes, she pours out her heart and soul and says all the things she would never say in real life, because her letters are for her eyes only. Until the day her secret letters are mailed, and suddenly, Lara Jean’s love life goes from imaginary to out of control.”  —Goodreads Synopsis

1. Okay, about to press play. Prayers up that this narrator doesn’t make want to pull my hair out.
2. Not even ten minutes in and I’m annoyed by Margot.
3. This isn’t going well…
4. Margot can seriously choke
5. So can Kitty
6. OMG I feel like this takes place in middle school…wait are they in middle school??
7. *googles*
8. Research has proven Lara Jean is indeed in High school–so she is just really melodramatic then?
9. Only on chapter three and I’m struggggggllliinnnggg
10. Margot dumps Josh, but bet by the middle of this book she gonna try and get him back.
11. Margot is trash
12. “My oldest friend Chris smokes, she hooks up with boys she doesn’t know hardly at all, and she’s been suspended twice.” OH THE SCANDAL!
13. Chris gives absolutely no shits and suddenly she is my favorite character out of this entire thing
14. “Chris is pure emotion”  wow. ICONIC.
15. Chris is my new best friend. Sorry not sorry.
16. THIS. BOOK. IS. DUMB.
17. I need Margot to be deleted.
18. Margot, Josh did absolutely nothing to you–WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO WARRANT YOU DUMPING HIM?!
19. She probably wants to mess around in Scotland. BET.
20. The Best Character: The Dad
21. Nah the shrub outside
22. most definitely the shrub
23. We got a whole page just talking about her lack of navigational skills.
24. Guys this isn’t going so great
25. Lara Jean is about to crash
26. Bet
27. …
28. Called it.
29. Old dude that hit her can choke.
30. Like your car is absolutely fine. Mine isn’t. Why are you still yelling at me?
31. Oh Lord, I’m gonna have to put this bad boy on auctioneer speed. (x3)
32. NEW CHARACTER INTRODUCTION!!!
33. Oh hello Peter
34. Peter is a douche low key, but I’m also vibing it…
35. Josh deserves better
36. Josh deserves Ice cream
37. #TeamJosh
38. ANOTHER NEW CHARACTER!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMAN: GENEVIEVE
39. wow…
40. Gen is a hoe
41. There is just so much breaking up and I’m only on chapter 11
42. “Just so you know, I don’t have any STDs” I’M DEAD. DECEASED.
43. YO LETTERS HAVE BEEN SENT! I REPEAT LETTERS HAVE BEEN SENT
44. The tea is piping y’all!
45. OMG I BET YOU KITTY SENT THEM AS REVENGE.
46. IF THIS IS TRUE KITTY CAN CHOOKKKE
47. Kitty can do what the Avenger’s did in Infinity War and disappear.
48. OMG IS JOSH GOING TO GROW FEELINGS FOR LARA JEAN AND THEN SAY SIKE WHEN MARGOT SAYS SHE WANTS HIM BACK?! BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT IS INEVITABLE.
49. Peter is really trying to clear his name with all this STD talk. It’s okay sir, some of them are curable. Nothing to be ashamed about.
50. This is gold.
51. “You always take the last piece of pizza. You never ask if anyone else wants it. That’s rude” Lessons by Lara Jean. No truer words have ever been written. 
52. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS LETTER!!!!
53. I’m seriously cackling
54. My boss just walked in on my staring at the wall giggling. If this isn’t dedication to an audiobook, I don’t know what is.
55. “What a relief! I bet if I did ever kiss you again, I would definitely catch something, and it wouldn’t be love. It would be an STD!”
56. I don’t remember why I dreaded this book so much, the letters alone are literature masterpieces.
57. Wait…some dude is sniffing her hair
58. It’s Peter.
59. This is really awkward.
60. Josh is here again
61. Why is Josh being this awkward.
62. Okay Josh, this isn’t that deep. Don’t get butt hurt because she is lying and saying she doesn’t like you anymore.
63. WAIT
64. WHAT IF LARA JEAN TOLD HIM SHE LIKED HIM (Josh) BACK IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, WOULD HE HAVE GONE FOR HER INSTEAD OF MARGOT.
65. ….
66. The theories are churning

1. Hold up
2. WRONG TIME TO WALK IN PETER, GO BACK! I REPEAT GO BACK!
3. Oh God
4. She isn’t going to
5. Oh God
6. She is
7. “Except for the fact that Peter’s expression is registering pure shock and disbelief and maybe a drop of amusement, because Peter likes to be amused. Raising his eyebrows, he says, “Lara Jean? What the—?” I don’t answer. I just kiss him. My first thought is: I have muscle memory of his lips. My second thought is: I hope Josh is watching.”  
8. WOWOWOWOW
9. What a time to be alive
10. DUDE IS PETER FRIEND ZONING HER?!
11. Peter is so full of himself
12. Ugh
13. I love it though.
14. Both Peter and Josh can jump of a cliff #TeamJoshisdead #TeamShrub
15. AYE A LETTER GOT RETURNED
16. one less possible traumatic experience to worry about
17. This narrator is GOLD. 10/10 would recommend
18. Cheap Peter is the best Peter
19. I’m living for this rule list.
20. “Peter is allowed to put a hand in Lara Jean’s back jean pocket” Wow. So intimate. 
21. I so do not miss high school. Like at all.
22. Lara Jean at football games is me at Golf meets (are they called meets?)
23. 42% through this audiobook and I’m…enjoying myself? WOW HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED
24. Peter is definitely making this bearable.
25. I retract the cliff statement (only for peter)
26. Margot can still choke
27. I bet you Margot slept with Josh
28. Wasn’t it just last week that Josh was crying over Margot? How is he suddenly jealous of Lara Jean with Peter?
29. Genevieve gonna stab Lara Jean
30. …I’m starting to feel some type of way about Peter…is it too late to switch to #TeamPeter?
31. WE ARE BAKING CUPCAKES!
32. Let the swooning begin!
33. LOL, her dad is Peter’s greatest Ally.
34. Yo, if peter gets back with Genevieve I’m going to poop in his shoes.
35. Lara Jean needs to work through this fear of her car. Like hunty.
36. Not. That. Deep.
37. Josh can really choke. He does NOT deserve ice cream.
38. AYE PETER IS JEALOUS TOO
39. the men are just chasing after Lara Jean and she has no idea what to do with this information anymore.
40. STAKE YOUR CLAIM HUNTY! YAS!
41. Not even Lunch yet and I’m almost done with book. Man how time flies.
42. uhhhh fruitcake cookies…?
43. ““No, he isn’t. He loves my sister. He always has and he always will.” ” Ahh the greatest lie ever told.
44. Freaking Kitty ruins everything!
45. WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A MOMENT
46. I just realized what Josh at this moment reminds me of: 
47. “when I come back, he says, “You act different around Kavinsky. Did you know that?” “ Josh is gonna piss me off, isn’t he?
48. Josh can seriously choke
49. GO BACK TO MARGOT! SHE IS GARBAGE LIKE YOU!
50. ….
51. No
52. He
53. Did
54. NOT
55. Just
56. Kiss
57. Her
58. WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING
59. Nah Fam
60. WHERE IS PETER WHEN YOU NEED HIM
61. I would have kneed Josh so hard
62. Update: Margot is back and I’m annoyed
63. I get lunch in ten minutes and I don’t know if I wanna listen to this while I chill for the hour or….
64. Who am I kidding, I got like ten chapters left–I’m in too deep to stop now
65. …
66. Shoot me in the foot
67. “I still can’t believe you’re dating Peter Kavinsky,” Margot says. She doesn’t say it in a nice way, like it’s a good thing. “Can you just . . . not?” I say. “I’m sorry, I just don’t like the guy.” “Well, you don’t have to like him. I do,” I say, and Margot shrugs.”
68. I’ve said this once, and I will probably say it more again but:
69. Margot
70. Can
71. CHOOKKEEE
72. ….
73. Okay sitting next to each other on the bus isn’t that deep Krasinsky.
74. “Ms. Davenport loves being in on student drama” Me if I was a teacher.
75. Cold shoulder? Really Peter?
76. “My mouth hangs open. “Are you really that mad that I didn’t sit next to you on the bus?” Peter lets out an impatient breath of air. “Lara Jean, when you’re dating someone, there are just . . . certain things you do, okay? Like sit next to each other on a school trip. That’s pretty much expected.” ” <- Not true

77. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A GENUINE PROFESSION OF ATTRACTION HERE!
78. I had to pause
79. I can’t
80. omg omg omg omg omg
81. Okay okay okay
82. I think I’m ready
83. If she doesn’t react the way I want her to–I. AM. SUING.
84. LARA JEAN BETTER NOT MESS THIS UP
85. BLESS THEY ARE TOGETHER FORREAL NOW!
86. Uh what the fuck Genevieve.
87. I TOLD Y’ALL SHE WAS A SNAKE
88. Chris is friend goals.
89. I don’t see how Krasinsky doesn’t realize how this rumor can effect a girl. Like woman aren’t gonna get a slap on the back and remarks like “nice dude!”. No. We get shamed and made out to look like whores, even if it was consensual. You are seventeen Peter, this shouldn’t be a new concept.
90. GEN IS TELLING EVERYONE
91. WOWOWOWOW I need to stab her
92. ….
93. Why are we not inviting Peter?
94. Peter has arrived!
95. Josh needs to back the fuck up.
96. WHO IS HE TO SAY WHAT IS GOOD AND NOT GOOD FOR LARA JEAN
97. “That’s when I see her. Margot, standing a few feet behind Josh, her hand to her mouth. The piano music has stopped, the world has stopped spinning, be- cause Margot has heard everything. “
98. But what did Margot think was going to happen?
99. Margot can still choke
100. So can Josh
101. I need every single person in this book that is not Lara Jean to stop telling Lara Jean what is and isn’t best for her.
102. Like my people, she is a human who can make her own choices.
103. OMG WHY DON’T THEY BELIEVE HER?!
104. YOU SHOULD BE ASKING THIS QUESTION TO MARGOT CAUSE SHE IS THE ONE HAVING THE SEXY TIMES!!!!
105. But bet, the Dad probably thinks Margot can do no wrong.
106. Margot can die in a hole
107. What a selfish vagina
108. Oh stop your tears Margot–no one cares.
109. IMA SAY IT AGAIN: MARGOT CAN CHOOOKKEEE
110. …
111. KITTY DID IT! I CALLED IT
112. “She hangs her head. “Because I was mad at you. You were teasing me about liking Josh; you said I was going to name my dog after him. I was so mad at you. So when you were sleeping . . . I snuck into your room and stole your hatbox and I read all your letters and then I sent them. I regretted it right away, but it was too late.” “
113. Wow…what a reason.
114. Kitty has become my spirit animal and no one can say otherwise!
115. Peter’s notes ❤
116. ….
117. Wait
118. DID THIS THING  JUST FINISH
119. I WANNA KNOW WHAT THE REST OF THE LETTER WAS GONNA SAY!
120. 
121. ….
122. Well that was a fun four hours
123. Man…what a ride
124. Final thoughts: Margot can choke, Josh can choke, Kitty doesn’t have to choke anymore, and Genevieve can die in a ditch with no cell service.
125. Changing my 1 star rating to a 3.5 stars
126. I’m ready for the movie now
127. HOLY CRAP IF THE MOVIE ENDS WITHOUT HER WITH PETER I’M FLIPPING BRICKS
128. Bricks will be flipped.